Call to Awareness

Greetings from this rain soaked Emerald Isle where as I type the drops are splashing off the perspex skylight (circa 1970) and the condensation from dinner cooking is running down the "woodchip" walls  (Ditto). Mr O has left the building, county and possibly country chaperoning his errant 15 year old daughter back to Bonnie Scotland and school (Tomorrow!!) and the arms of his waiting (ex) wife . No doubt there will be words as she was due back ten days ago ............. at least . But then what do I know of teenagers, or he for that matter. Apart from the fact he was one when his first 2 children were born , and though the headcount of  his progeny has now raised to 5 , I fear he is still the gawky adolescent he may have been 20 years ago . Is it possible to be so emotionally traumatised by a divorce that one remains in stasis since the event, or is this dysfunctional, co-dependant, relationship something we have both manifested. ?? Him  -  because despite his handsome demeanour - he is  painfully insecure and mine as despite my balls out , wise cracking demeanour am jealously insecure with low self esteem and abandonment issues . Hmmm, maybe. It is said in recovery that people in treatment or therapy are the same age as when their addictions began, and so it seems that we pair are forver destined to be 16 years old, in a world where we have to be responsible and "Adult". I read recently that a grown-up is only a child with layers and this really seems to sum up the human condition. In nesting mode I have cleaned and moved and shifted the entire house, in order to embrace change and shift energy, and it smells like a chocolate sponge is cooking courtesy of the beautiful burner oil a friend brought as we drank and smoked our way down through 2 pots of coffee and I have vowed I will do the following this evening, rain or no.
1. I will walk my blind dog.
2. I will wash his bedding (Again , he's blind so YOU do the math !)
3. I will water all the plants ............. properly
4. I will write at least 1000 words on something.
5.I will be aware of my conditioned, egoic, "monkey mind" persistant thoughts and relax and breathe.

Of course there are also the other things I have vowed I will NOT do( again )

1. I will not spend hours on FB and Stumbleupon
2. I will not eat everything I feel like when I feel like it.
3. I will not drop another library book in the bath.
4. I will not allow negative energy and emotional guilt about my parents wreck my buzz.
5. I will not stay up till 4am watching Reality tv to see what "normal" life looks like .

People when asked what they would wish for when being told they can have a wave of a" wand" never EVER know what it is they actually WANT, but can reel off the things they do NOT want. One great tip to find your true desires is to reverse your "don't wants" ............. and find a new list of actual wants.  Then speak and write it in terms as if you already have it .
i.e. I do NOT wish to be single becomes I live a life beyond my wildest dreams with my soul mate . etc etc. You get the picture, remember the universe is bringing you whatever your attention is focused on, every time, no question. What will you ASK for now ..........????
For the good of all and harm to none, I send you love, peace and joy . : D
Until we meet ....................................................


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