Marcie's Date with Destiny.

Interior : Living room of country cottage strewn with cushions, throws, bric a brac, candles and lit incense. 2 women are kneeling behind a couch and only their voices are heard. A man’s shadow is seen through the window tapping on the glass.

Sherry: Stay down, Stay down I think he’s going.

Marcie: Jesus I cant get any downer.

Sherry: Did you close all the windows?

Marcie: (Sighing) For the thousandth time YES, and I taped the letter box shut.

The man taps again and again. There is a pause and then the sound of a car door closing and an engine starting. When the noise gets fainter 2 heads come up from behind the couch.

Marcie: Christ on a crutch, that was close.

Sherry: He’ll be back.

Marcie: That it may stay fine for him. I’ll deal with him when I’m able. Help me up will you?

Marcie and Sherry emerge from behind the couch.  One is huge and one tiny.  The huge one Marcie is rubbing her knees and stretching her back.

Marcie : Fish Oils how are you.............

Sherry: My nerves are in tatters.

Marcie : Tatters schmatters......... Put the bloody kettle on will you. I’m gasping.

Sherry: Your wish is my command. Where is your lover man today? Extricating himself from the arms of his wife?

Marcie : He’s collecting his cat.

Sherry : (Mumbled) Bloody fantastic.

Marcie: Sorry?

Sherry : Nothing. Those leggings elastic?

She busies herself putting coffee into mugs and hums tunelessly.

Sherry: You on or off dairy now?

Marcie : Off darling off.

Sherry (eyeballing her ) Not before time.

Marcie Sorry?

Sherry: Have we wine?

Marcie : God forbid there should be no wine darling, that would be the absolute end. I think Ivan left a case of some awful plonk in the garage.  He should be here by now. I may just open one before he arrives.

Sherry: No shit. What are we supposed to do if laughing boy comes back?

Marcie: He wont come back today anyway. Those boyos knock off at 6.

Sherry : I suppose living out here in the arsehole of nowhere has its perks..........at least we can hear the car coming down the drive,. . . . . .well one of us can.

Marcie : I cant help it if my years of competition swimming have damaged my ears and balance.

She admires herself in the mirror. Sherry has been turning a snort into a cough and brings the mugs of coffee to the couch.

Sherry : Well that’s a poor fire now. A wet teatowel is your only man to put it out though.

Marcie: Sure the smoke would be a dead giveaway. Put a shoe on.

She goes to the window and looks out.

Sherry takes the lid off a log basket by the fire to reveal a selection of womens shoes and boots, high heels and strappy sandals, platforms etc. She pours the contents of the  sugar bowl all over the fire and lights a tea light and drips the wax all over the mess. She takes out a huge silver platform shoe and it ignites instantly. Marcie comes back from the window and picks up the empty sugar bowl.

Marcie: Oh I cant have it without sugar as well........... I’ll just open  the one bottle before he gets here.

Sherry: One is too few and a hundred is never enough. You’ll be blackout central if you take a sleeper on top of that again. 

Marcie: I’ve learnt my lesson there darling. I never want a repeat of last weeks performance.

Sherry : Amen to that!

Marcie: What the hell time is it anyway? Where can he have got to? I hope she’s not having one of her turns again.

She picks up her phone and stares at it. She puts on her glasses from her neck chain and holds the phone out at arms length and stares at it again.

Sherry : A watched kettle never boils. It is as it is.

Marcie: Thats easy for you to say Miss “I’m waiting for the one” Kinsella.

Sherry : Now thats not fair. If I want analysis I’ll make an appoinment.

Marcie : Chillax. I’m just up to high doh with the stress.

She moves to the mirror again and starts to re apply eye liner and gloss. Sherry has opened the wine and passes her a glass. 

Sherry: Has the publisher rung back about your book?

Marcie: That fucker. He says I need to drop a few pounds before I can do a book signing, and he wants sombody half decent to write the foreword. What about your mate in Wexford ? It doesn’t really matter if she’s read it or not.What is she again?

Sherry: Mental.

Marcie: Sorry?

She drinks half the glass of wine in one go and re-applys lipstick.

Sherry: For Christ sake she is a tarot reading hippy who smokes weed and believes the universe will manifest all things. You and her would get on like a house on fire. Meanwhile, back on the ranch the baliffs are hot on your heels and your feminine transformation book is not going to rival “The Secret” if you are in fact an obese alcoholic who chain smokes and has a penchant for highly unsuitable young men. Speaking of which where can your current squeeze have got to? Oh, maybe he is re-considering the whole kit and caboodle.

Marcie: You can be such a bitch when you want , Madam.

Sherry :Oh come on, you know I’m messing. He’s probably heading this a way with a thousand boxes and a traumatised cat as we speak.

Marcie: Oh Jesus, do you think Im doing the right thing.  What if , .............(she drinks the rest of her wine and pours herself a second glass. ) ................he gets here and its all been a horrible mistake. What if no good can come of all this unhappiness, what if we really reap what we sow?

Sherry : What if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle. Give me that bottle before you horse it all.

She drains the rest of the bottle and unscrews the top off another.

Sherry : Oh well, a bird never flew on one wing and all that jazz.

Marcie is at the window again with her hand cupped to her ear.

Marcie: Whisht. I think I hear him.

There s the sound of a car engine but it does not slow and they go back to their drinks.